Regina Lawrence is a trial attorney turned transformation mindset coach who started her journey bottoming out on her office floor in panic attacks. Through years of education, training and personal growth, she now runs a coaching business where she assists women to find clarity, confidence and peace through rewiring their mindsets.
This episode is for you if you find yourself getting stuck in the overachiever spiral, constantly wanting to reach and do more, but finding the anxiety that can come with the need to constantly achieve, achieve, achieve. Regina shows us how we can find a sense of great accomplishment without completely burning out.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. I'm so excited. We have a special guest, well they're all special, let's get real here. But you know, I bring on these Badass fucking guests and this guest today is definitely nothing short of that. She's sexy, she's bad ass, like I just love everything. I should tell you her name. Her name is Regina Lawrence and I met her through a mastermind that I was in and we just like magnetically connected. I mean, it's so funny. We literally just like were drawn towards each other in the hallway. We had so much to talk about. So much in common. And I fucking love Regina because when you see her, like if you were to see her, you know how I saw her at this meetup of this mastermind we were in when she told me her story, I was like, what? Like what are you talking about here?
Regina is absolutely amazing because she's a super spiritual woman. Like just total embodiment of just sexy, super connected, high vibe. But she has this background that when she shared it with me I was kinda like, huh? She was an attorney! She was an attorney guys! A trial attorney for years! And basically what ended up happening was she was having panic attack after panic attack and realized something wasn't working for her. She dug deep into spiritual growth, personal growth, hired a coach, all the things. And has been on this transformational journey. She's now my go to person I love, like when I'm just having a freakout moment when I'm getting in that place of like self sabotage, telling myself crazy stories that I know aren't true, but I need talked off the ledge. I go to Regina. So she's absolutely amazing. But what I love about it is she embodies this just like fully empowered, calm, sexy person. But I know, I mean I didn't know her before, but from what she tells me, I know it wasn't always this. And I love the just the idea of the transforming summit possible. This is what I do for everybody. I'm like, I'll just talk forever. Okay. Maybe I should let them talk a little bit. Thanks for being here. So, yeah, did I give a good intro?
Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to connect with you and your audience today. It's awesome. Thanks. Yeah, good intro. I'm definitely like a dichotomy, polarizing person because, what I look like and my belief system, it all seems to contradict and contrast with one another, which I kind of love, right? Because the thing is like, it's not unique to me. We're all polarizing. It's just giving ourselves permission to step into that. My background is I was a stressed out corporate litigator and trial attorney. I was a perpetual codependent achiever my whole life and I would use that anxiety to propel me, and I used it for good, right? Like I used it to change my circumstances to be Different than my surroundings to push myself through college and like do all of that shit. But then I got to a point, and I loved law school. I loved practicing law. I was good at what I did, but I got to this point in private practice where I was having a panic attack on my office floor over a client that was just driving me insane. And I laid on my office floor and like closed the door, laid on the floor. I'm in a pencil skirt, a pair of Louis Vuitton, and literally laying there crying my eyes out, listening to a headspace meditation. And I was like, this is literally the lowest of the low for me right now. Like I can't believe this is happening, but I don't know what else to do. And in that moment I was like, something has to fucking give because I refuse to live my life like this. There has to be, I dunno what it is, but there has to be a better way. And so that will start at like my journey to where I am today.
Well, can we talk about that? Because you know, I think we've all, even me, like I absolutely love my business. I'm so fulfilled, I'm so happy. But recently, you know, I'm feeling a pull to do a little bit more service work in my business to do some things, um, just doing things differently. And I think when you know that things need to shift, it can be so overwhelming. Especially when you know it's time for things to change, but you're like, what exactly am I supposed to do? And I'm guaranteed people listening to this right now are like, ah, yeah, I know I need to make a change, but what the hell am I supposed to do? So like you're extremely, I'm sure you were extremely busy. I'm sure you're working like 80 hours a week. Because to me, like I would just start crying again haha.
I mean I definitely had moments where I avoided my life and I would binge. I realized like the way that I escaped my life is to binge Netflix for like 24 hours on a weekend. And I was finding myself doing that. Or at night I'd be going to bed and like I would be binging like reruns of 30 Rock to like escape my life and like laugh and watch Tina Fey. But what I did, I think the very first step that I took was I hired a coach and at the time I was working as a litigator, I was teaching law at a local law school at night and I'd started a network marketing business and the network marketing business was my first taste at entrepreneurship and it was the first time in my life I ever thought, Holy Shit, I can work for myself. Like that's a possibility because that had never been a thought in my mind. Like I'm not from a family of entrepreneurs. I'm the first girl of nine kids to go to college and then law school and then get my master's in law. So like I went that traditional all American route. And so network marketing, while I didn't stick with it, it was like such a blessing because it opened my eyes up in network marketing. I hired a business and life coach and that, and I love him forever because he had such a profound effect on helping me get centered and get clarity and find peace and really change and reshape and reprogram my brain, which then led into the way that I coach people now.
So I have to ask you, because what you said really resonated with me, like actually like 150% so you said your anxiety served you for a long time. It made you who you were. It got you, you know, through Undergrad, Grad school. Like it checked off all the boxes. It got you out of this situation you didn't want to be in. Which, I mean I know that like I know being from a situation that I no longer wanted to be a part of and just working my ass off and hustling my ass off to get away from it. But I know that eventually, like now, you know, I have a six figure business, I don't need to be in this like survival, high anxiety, hustle mode 24/7 and so even though that served me to get here, it was really difficult and I'm still navigating how to shift the gears right to kind of a different sort of operation. Can you talk about that a little bit? Like, I mean, how do you go from this high powered woman lawyer like self-made all the things to like, I'm going to hire a life coach?
So a few different things went into it. The biggest thing that I have always done, like I was always a student and I'm always a very good student. So I always want to learn from the best to be the best. And so when I was contemplating working with a coach, I started entering into the world of self development. I had always known who Tony Robins was and started paying attention to him, started paying attention to really mainstream people. And I also was obsessed and I still am like really obsessed with success and like what are successful people doing? How are successful people functioning and operating? What are their morning routines, how were they getting to the next levels? And the thing that I was finding in all of these coaches and all of these, in Oprah and all of these people, everybody has a mentor. Everybody has a coach because when we truly want to uplevel, like, and I always had like personal trainers and I always had a nutritionist that I worked with on all these different things just like why was my career and like monetary and business success any different? So that was the first thing that did it for me. It was really like a, it was black and white. It's like all right, successful people do x, y and z, which includes hiring a business coach and meditating and journaling. I don't know what the fuck that means, but I'm going to learn how to do it and I'm going to hire somebody. And I literally, like when I hired my first business coach and I worked with him for a couple of years, like I didn't have the money, I put it on a credit card and I would like say it's going to be fine. We'll just figure it out.
I love it. I mean I love that though because I'm kind of the same way around like meditation and kind of the more spiritual connection. And now I feel a lot of, a lot more spiritually connected in my business. Yeah. I mean that was not, so I'm like, what the fuck? Like what is this like crystals and all these things and now that's such a big part of your life, but it's like so polar opposite. And you talked from, from what you originally essentially were and you talked about everybody's polarizing, everybody kind of has these different sides to them. So when did you step from like high powered, stressed out attorney to, who you are now, who's like this deeply spiritually connected, calm, peaceful, fulfilled woman?
It's been a process that has taken years and it's a process that I consistently work at every single day because as zen as I can be and as peaceful as I can be, I'm a crazy ass girl from Philadelphia. Like, I'm Italian, I get hot blooded like I am, I say things that I then have to go apologize for later. So definitely, it has been something that I've really worked at just like other areas of my life. And it's been my biggest thing that I tell people all the time is we often want to overwhelm ourselves with a million things for transformation. So like New Year's is a great example. People want to, they say, I want to get fit in the new year, so I'm gonna go to the gym for an hour and a half, six days a week, and I'm going to do this to my diet and I'm going to go Keto and I'm going to cut out dairy and all this bullshit. And what we do is we literally create a situation that statistically only 2% or 3% of people actually can accomplish. So I always say like whenever you're undergoing a mindset transformation that affects every area of your life. Pick one small thing. It's like I started to journal and say mantras. That was it. And like whenever I started to feel stressed and anxious, I would literally stop what I was doing. I would take deep breaths and I would affirmatively say, I am peaceful, I am peaceful and I'm productive in a peaceful body. I'm peaceful, I am peaceful. And I would take deep breaths around that mantra and it's so simple. But like that was so anchoring for me and I started to journal that every morning I'd be like, I am peaceful. I'm a peaceful producer, like life flows to me with ease, money flows to me with ease. Like I started doing that stuff and that was like the first big thing. And then that led into learning how to meditate for five minutes a day, like two minutes a day, three minutes a day. Right?
So let me ask you this, because you knew things needed to change, did you have an end goal in mind or were you just like, I like, I'm just gonna, cause I knew you hired a coach pretty early on. So were you kinda just following like what he suggested or, because I think what happens is, is exactly what you said. It's the new years eve syndrome. People get all overwhelmed. So they either do nothing or they try to do all the things and then they crumble. And it's just, you don't very often see people making these tiny steps. That's not really the reality. And so for somebody who's listening that's like, okay, I want to make a change, but like I don't even know where I'm going. Like that's what always prevents me from taking the next step is I don't know what the whole picture looks like and that freaks me out.
So I've definitely always been an intuitive person and my intuition and that spiritual side of myself has really developed over the past year, like to a crazy degree. But I've always had a little bit of intuition. And so when I started this journey, I really did what we all do. It's just are we able to do, we have blocks that prevent us from listening to it or hearing it or we had just ignoring it but like we all have it, you just have to check into it. Um, and I started to feel like, okay, I started to make the shifts. I am that like once you've, once I started to make that shift into like I want to be an entrepreneur, I started to very quickly become psychologically unemployable and I was like, I want to work for myself. And at first it was with network marketing and I realized pretty quickly that like he didn't think that were marketing was from me at that point in my life. And I felt this pull to be connected with women. I just didn't know how. And I always imagined myself, and I still do, being on stage in front of thousands of women and presenting and talking and speaking and empowering. And I was like, I don't know what that looks like. But that's going to happen. Um, and then that's when I started to build a brand. When I started building my brand, I literally had no idea what I was going to do. I wasn't sure that I was going to coach, but I knew that I had stories to share and experiences to share. And I just started writing and sharing on social media, um, to connect with people.
You know, that's not actually how I started, but I see so many people that like my, my journey is just different. But like, I mean, like Cara, Alwill Leyba. That's how she started like, so like, I just think that that's such a like a valid thing that we need to talk about because like, yeah, that's not how I started and that's not also how a lot of other people started. But I think like sometimes that's where you have to start is like this, like just that desire to, to give value to the world, to like speak to the world, to tell your story and not know where it's going to go.
Yeah, totally. Like we all so often and I'm the same way, like I'm a type a controlling person and I always work with that, but I always wanted to know a plan. What am I doing? What's the plan? Where am I going? Like what steps? This is the big picture. Let's talk with a little picture. How do we get there? And this was the first time in my life that I let go and I was like, all right, like I have a job right now. Um, I'm just going to start building this brand and connecting with women and see where that goes. And then that led me to, that led me to wanting to be a coach.
Oh my God, it's taking the pressure off. I love that because I think a lot of people think they need to know and like they have to quit their job. It's like, no, like I always say that I'm like, you're in a good situation. You have a job, you have a paycheck coming in. Take advantage of that and explore, play. See, see what's out there. I wanted to ask you and then I think we can talk about kind of like the next steps, but how did you get your, with isogenics, right?
So then that was your direct sales MLM. So you're super duper busy. You're an attorney by day, you're teaching at night. What got you into that? Why were you like, Oh yeah, let me add another thing to my plate. Even though you didn't stay with it. Like I'm just curious, what was the, what was the motivation there?
It was so interesting. So like there have been different people who I have followed through the years unrelated to Isogenics. So like Chris and Lori Harder are two people I followed, like I followed Lori Harder when she was a figure model and like didn't do Isogenics. And I had tried Isogenics years ago, like years before I joined the company and I liked it. Um, but I didn't really understand the business. I knew the products were really great. And then somebody approached me about it and was like, my best friend did and she was like, well, you do this with me. I think it's a great business opportunity. And I was like, oh, I already know the products. She was my best friend from law school, so she was also a lawyer and I had been watching people in the company on social media, like Emily [inaudible] is one of the biggest peeps and Isogenix. And I watched her success at like 22 2124 years old. And I was like, well, it's worth a shot. Like why not? You know? Um, and that's, that's why I did it. It just, it felt right at the moment. And I had been thinking, I had been thinking about doing it and I was like, I don't want to do it alone. I want to do it with somebody. And then my best friend Nicole reached out and was like, Hey, somebody from college reached out to me about this company, Isogenix. Like, do you know anything about it? And I was like, oh my God, I know everything about it. So it just was like the right timing for me in my life. And in hindsight it was the right time for him to open me up to like a whole new way of thinking about life and business and money.
I love that you say that because I think a lot of times people, again we look at things so black and white, you know like Oh I have to join this and I have to make a successful or it was a waste of money. It was a waste of time. It was a waste of effort or no, like I think you just simply said yes to something. You were kind of like why not? And I think we've put so much pressure on decisions and you know I was in a direct sales company for five years that I just, I put my heart and soul into and then I just left and I sometimes I was like, did I just throw that all away? But it's like, no, I needed that. Like you needed that, you needed that for whatever reason.
Totally. And it also like Isogenix is really, and a lot of direct sales companies, are really heavy on self-development because being an entrepreneur and being a network marketer, like it's not easy. Like, so you, you need a solid mindset. So being with Isogenix, I was exposed to so many incredible people, but then also like, you know, they had Tony Robbins come in and speak for one of our events. They had Brendon Burchard come in for another event and speak. So like I was able to be exposed to these really great thought leaders in our country and in our world. And you know, that was part of the reason why I was supposed to be there because I was supposed to see Tony Robbins like do one whole day with Isogenix. Like it was like something that was meant to happen. Well to me and for me, I love it.
So, okay. So I want to talk about you now and like kind of your whole transition. So you're no longer an attorney, right?
I'm still an attorney. I'm no longer practicing.
Yes. So can you tell us about that? Like, I mean I feel like people probably gave you, I mean, did you get the whole like you're fucking crazy. You're making all this money, you're super successful. Why would you do that?
Yeah, I got it. I got a mixed bag of responses and emotions to it. My parents were pretty supportive. Uh, they are very used to me and they know that I'm very strong will. So like the joke in my family is like Regina gets whatever Regina wants because I do like, I make whatever I want happen. Like for better or for worse, I will muscle shit and make shit happen. So the year leading up to this, I really contemplated leaving practice for a year and during that time my dad was so supportive. He was like, when else in your life can you do this? When else in your life you're not married, you don't have kids, you don't own a house. Like if you're going to take a risk in your life, like this is the time to do it. And I was like, okay. And so, and my mom was like the same way. Like she was like crying for me and like, you know, funny. But she, I mean, she doesn't really know what to say to me. Like I'm just not this to her, but my dad was so supportive and that definitely helped me because I knew I could call him and I still do. I'll call him and I'll be like, dad, I had this great idea. He literally has no idea what the fuck I'm talking about. But he's like, that sounds great, honey. Keep doing it. So his thing is like, always keep doing it and don't get pregnant haha. Don't get, don't get pregnant. You'll fuck it all up.
Oh, very encouraging. I'm like, don't worry dad, I got that covered. But um, thank you for, thank you for your love and support. I appreciate you.
So they were supportive. Now were you actively like what was your business like when you quit? Like where was your business at when you quit?
Oh my God. Like, so like, non-existent, nonexistent to like replace my income basically. Yeah. I like literally was like, all right, I'll have a little bit of a severance and I was still teaching at law school at night, but I was like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing, but I had to do it. So I kept getting the pull to to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it. And I was like literally every time, the two week, the month leading up to it, every time I said that in meditation, I was getting this like screaming voice of like, you have to quit your job, you have to quit your job. And I started like verbally out loud. Talking back to the voice and saying is so true. I don't know if I'm actually told this story out loud like in public yet, but I was like, I would literally be meditating and then I'd be like, all right, fine, I'll do whatever the fuck you want. But you need to make it abundantly clear that that's what you want. I will do whatever you want, but make it very clear. And so a lot of shit was happening at my job and I was having a lot of issues with my old boss and I just, so many boundaries are being crossed and it was just such a bad situation and that even if I wasn't going to work as an attorney somewhere else, I couldn't work with him anymore. He was a terrorist and I'm just driving to work one day and it was a Friday and I was getting that voice like screaming at me, or it was Monday? The voice was like screaming at me again. I said out loud, I'll do whatever you want but you need to make it abundantly clear. So I called my mom, I told her what was happening, she said she was going to pray for me and then every day that week something different happened for me. One day I was on TV, like an internet talk show, talking about my business. The next day I was introduced to this like really great outbound marketing girl and like all these things were like starting to happen. It was like crazy. So then Friday I was at work and I got called into a meeting with my boss and my boss's boss, his boss was like, we feel like you don't want to be here anymore.
And I like, I looked at everybody in the room and I was thinking about what I've been working had been receiving and I said, you're right, I don't want to be here anymore. And like I think that they thought it was going to be a conversation or we were going to dialogue about it. And I literally got up and left and went to my office and like packed up my shit and left. And like that was it for me. Like I was so fucking done that and like we were sitting in the meeting like it was so interesting because my boss was a real piece of shit and he had just said all of these things that weren't true and like he really just did a lot of dirty, dirty things and some day I will talk about them cause women in corporate America needs to be aware of like how we're so abused by these male counterparts. But I'll get into that someday. I'll get down and dirty with that. Um, but I remember sitting in a meeting and hearing these things that he said about me that were lies and um, all that integrity and truth. Like I'd rather tell somebody the truth and hurt their feelings and like be a dishonest to them. And I was hearing these lies and I was like, oh my God. And my ego was like, you have to respond, you have to respond. And then my soul was like, no, get the fuck out of dodge. So I was literally like, Okay great, thanks guys. See you later. And like that was it for me.
Okay. Can we talk about that? Because you and I are definitely like, we can get all ghetto if we want to. Like we can get fired up and we can get like crazy. Like we've talked about this a little. Did you struggle with that? Because I have had those moments where I'm like, I want to tell her you off. But like really it wasn't worth it. Like it's never worked. It's never worth like letting that side of you out. I really don't think it is.
Honestly, my soul had prepared me that week. Like I was so spiritually prepared when I went in to that meeting. I was so spiritually prepared cause like to go to work was really hard for me. Like the last few months, like my boss was, my boss didn't speak to my boss, had an office next to me and he didn't speak to me for two months and he made it such a hostile work environment that like I, it was painful to go to work and I really had to do a lot of prayer and meditation to get to the office because he was so painful. And so that week I felt like all the messages I got and all the downloads I received and all the people I connected with, like I was really spiritually prepared for that meeting. And so my s my soul, like beat my ego out in that meeting and I didn't, I literally said, thanks like see you later. And like, I'm like, I didn't even want to dialogue. I didn't want to defend myself. I didn't give a shit. I just wanted to get out of there.
Can we talk about that? Like, did you have any doubt afterwards? Like, oh my God, what the fuck did I just do? I messed up. Like, did you have that?
I didn't feel like I messed up, but I definitely was like, for two days I was like, I had like a little bit of fear paralysis. Like I remember I have this distinct moment, like two days later, it was like the middle of the day and I was walking around sprouts first through store grocery shopping, and I remember having this moment of like, uh, should I be spending money? Like I don't have a job, what should I be doing? I was so paralyzed with like fear and excitement, and confusion, but I never questioned if I did the right thing. That wasn't a question. It was more just like, Holy Shit, this is real. Like we are real now. Um, but never questioned it. I knew it was the right thing and I, and I also knew that like, okay, the divine like knew, I wouldn't knew what new, I wouldn't leave that job on my own. I would, I'm such a planner. I'd be like, no, this needs to be perfect and wait, all my credit cards aren't, aren't paid off and like, wait, but I don't have this much amount of dollars saved. And like, I know the divine knew that. Like I would procrastinate it. And so I felt like it was like, it's thrown at me. Like, this is what you got to do, bitch. And yeah, exactly.
I'm like, if you don't push yourself out, something else will.
And so, I mean real quickly, like were you financially prepared for that? Are you open to talking about that?
I mean defined, financially prepared because I was not.
It is funny, people always ask me how much do I need to have saved? And I'm like, girl, I quit my job with $10 on my name. So that's my answer. You know, like you might need $100,000 to feel okay, you might need $10 to feel okay.
Yeah. So for me, like for my definition of financial security, like what I thought I wanted was I thought I wanted all my credit cards paid off. I thought I wanted like a chunk of money in savings. I didn't have any of that. Um, I had a severance that I got and then I was still teaching, so I still had money coming in. Like it wasn't like there were $0, it just wasn't like the six figure salary that I had been accustomed to. So I very quickly was like, okay, like I just adapted to that. Like, I adapted my lifestyle, I adapted my spending and I was like, I'm gonna fucking make it work. And even if like I'm only making minimum payments on my credit cards for a period of time, like I'm fine with that debt. Like it's okay. Like even if like whatever, like I'll make sure like I'll figure it out, I'll hustle, I'll make it work. And that's what I did. But like I was not a girl with a plan. And even when I quit my job, I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, wait, so how do I get clients? Like how do I, how do I grow my business?
That's so amazing though. Cause there's people that know how to do all that and they're still not quitting.
No, I didn't know. I literally didn't know how to do everything. I always joke that every day was like a pick your own adventure because I had to figure out, like I would literally, I had a rule, I had to be ass in chair at my desk for a period of time every day. And so I would literally, like there were some days I would literally be ass in chair at my desk for like eight hours. I don't know what the fuck happened in those eight hours, but I was committed to sitting there and figuring it out and doing the uncomfortable every single day, which is what I did.
We've talked so much and I know we've had like a similar story but this is so similar like the whole like anxiety pushing you thing. But then also this is exactly what I did because literally I kind of had a similar exit. I was just serving though. I was done with college. I graduated but um, and I just had a serving job and, but I knew I didn't want to go into corporate America or anything like that and we looked for a job for like a day and I was like, fuck this. Cause I already had my direct sales business and um, I quit. And that's exactly what I did. That's so funny you say that because people ask me what I did like to go to my business. I'm like, I don't know. I just sat in a chair for like 10 hours a day and just fucking figured it out. And then I started going out and networking like 10 hours a day. I don't know even know what I was doing and now I understand like now I can see what I was doing, but okay. I love that. Like you just tried to do something.
I just literally was like, I'm going to try to do anything and everything and figure everything out. Like I remember laying in bed one night and my roommate came in and she's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm learning how to run Facebook ads. Okay. I watching a YouTube tutorial and I'm figuring shit out. I just literally spent so much time spinning my wheels and like trying to figure shit out and some things I did, some things took longer. Like I would say now I've been out of practice for six months and I finally, I feel like now I'm starting to have a handle on things. Like I feel really confident in like my brand and in who I serve and what I do and how I do it. And it just took a lot of time and a lot of wheels spinning and it's not even, this is a thing, it's not even that much time. I talked to my best friend from high school who's a school teacher and I was like, this was like a month ago and I was like complaining and I was like complaining that I'm not far enough, that I haven't done enough and blah blah blah. And she was like, I'm going to stop you right there. She was like, you have literally quit your job as an attorney, started a coaching business and moved across the country and changed your entire life all in a school year. And I haven't even finished my school year yet. She was like, so just remember that and I was like, Ooh. Like we just put so much pressure on herself. So like do it in like three minutes and like why isn't already done? Why don't I already have all the knowledge, it's not realistic, but like we put that pressure on ourselves and so I realized that six months in I'm starting to like, I'm like, Oh yeah, this is what I need to do, this is who I am, this is what I stand for.
But even that, I mean, we met in a mastermind, continue to invest and get the support you need and you know, we've talked about business stuff and you're just constantly trying to figure it out and that's, that's all you can do. You don't have to be perfect. I'm sure you've tried have worked and all that stuff, but you just keep trying to figure it out.
Yeah. One of the biggest things for me and one of our friends in our mastermind said this to me about perfectionism because like I'm one of those people where like I was letting perfectionism prevent me from getting things done and she was like look at things and like if it's a B plus like put it out there, you know? . I think about it all the time. Like whenever I'm like questioning or like trying to do something and I'm like, oh no, like that's not good enough. That's not, I have this like new project that I've been sitting on and I'm finally working on it and I was sitting on it cause I was like what if it's not good enough? Like what if people aren't responsive to it? And then I was like B plus baby. Like just get it out there.
Yeah, exactly. So what like go there. What if people aren't responsive to it? Okay? Then you try something else.
But like you have to try everything and like something that we have to realize, especially in the online space and as coaches and with online businesses it's like we are all different and we are all unique and something that works for one person like might not work for me. Like I like certain things aren't in alignment for me and like when it's not in alignment it's forced. Like I don't feel like, like it's not in alignment for me to do public Facebook lives on my public Facebook page. It used to be, I used to love it, I don't anymore. So what's in alignment? I have a private Facebook page where I connect with my girls almost every day and it's, it feels so comfortable and easy and light and I love it. And like I'm building a community there like, that's comfortable, that feels good to me. Right? Like that works for me. And I do it with no makeup and like it's, and once in awhile I have makeup on and people were like, oh my God, like who are you? But I just had to learn like messy action. And you gotta do you and do things that aren't in alignment for you and your brand and business
Well and stop, stop treating everything like an uphill battle to, you know, like if the lines aren't working for you. That's what I always say because like I teach in my mastermind, I teach a lot of basic principles and people get really, again stuck in the black and white. They're like, but I don't like that. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, so can you take the basic idea that you need to be speaking to an audience and how can you make that yours? Like that's likely all It is. There's these basic principles that you need to have in place, but, and even, I mean it's the same thing with even spiritual and personal development. Like you started with saying the same mantra every single day. Journaling a little bit then it was meditation, and I want to talk to you now, like I know that you're now really all about helping women find peace and purpose and fulfillment. And really it seems like overly ambitious women. Now, that sounds like a negative connotation, but those, those highly ambitious women seem to really be your people. You're connected most with. So what, what is it that you love working with them? Like why do you love that group of women? And I would say probably everybody listening is a highly ambitious woman. What do you think that we're lacking a lot of the times when it comes to finding that peace?
I think a big thing that we're lacking is that like we don't give ourselves grace and space to be and to learn and to make mistakes. Because if you're listening and you're a high achieving woman, like that's a beautiful thing. But a lot of times we get to that place of like propelling ourselves forward because of things that have happened in our past that we've never dealt with. So like for me like anxiety was great. It was a great fuel, it fueled me, it pushed me forward. But you can't live your whole life in an anxious body because the body shuts down and like your hormones get fucked up. And all of these things happen in the body. So as a high power, hardworking woman, like those low vibrational energies that you are able to propel in some movie you forward, like they serve you for a period of time and then they don't serve you anymore. So I want women to know that you can be super successful. You can literally work in corporate America, be a corporate attorney or you can own your own business. You can do whatever you want and you can do it 100% balls to the wall, but you can do at balls to the wall and very peaceful, confident, calm body. It doesn't have to be, so frenetic, so crazy. And that's what I thought. I thought it had to be like, Ooh, I'm so busy, I'm so crazy, blah blah, blah. Like that's how I get shit done. It doesn't have to be that way. And in fact you can do it in a super calm, peaceful body. And actually be better at all the things that you do.
So for somebody right now that feels like that because I felt like that for years, like, oh my God, if I'm not super busy then I mean really to me it was I have to be busy. I have to hustle in order to be successful. Like I can't be successful and have these full day. I have to have this day. And if I don't have this crazy packed stressful day, then I'm not worthy of success. I see that that's a load of bs now. But that's, that's how I live for a long time. And so I mean just somebody that's listening right now, let's feeling really stressed out. That's feeling frustrated. What would you tell them?
I'm a true believer that you can hustle 12 hours a day, 15 hours a day, and not be stressed out because the, the work that you're doing isn't necessarily like stress isn't necessarily caused by external factors. Anxiety isn't necessarily caused by external factors. It has to do with something going on inside of you. So when you're feeling like, like, cause I'm in the hustle place right now. I never stop working right now, but I've never been at more peace in my life a lot of times. And this is just a simple thing in everyday life we get stressed or anxious about certain things. What do we get stressed and anxious about? We often get stressed and anxious about the future or the next thing that's going to happen. Why are we stressed and anxious about the future? Because we want to control it or because we have fear about it.
Where does that fear and desire for control come from? The fear comes from a story that we've created about an outcome that hasn't happened yet. So we literally spend our days creating stories, writing stories about things that haven't happened yet. And then we're having a mental and physical response in the body to something that hasn't actually happened yet. So something that I do is when I feel the fear, when I feel the stress, I don't, I don't even know where it, like we are oftentimes so conditioned to ignore our feelings whereas we should feel our feelings and explore them and put them to bed. So when you're feeling fear, you know, I had a few weeks ago I had a feeling of fear around my business and I sat down and I said, why are you feeling stressed and fearful? You're feeling stressed and fearful because you're worried that you're not going to be successful enough. What does it mean to be successful enough? Why are you afraid that you're not going to be successful? And I came to this point where I realized I was literally creating this story about a future outcome that hadn't happened, that I totally made up my mind and it was manifesting in my mind and body. So I had to sit there and breathe and say to myself like talk to myself. Like I would talk to my best friend because we talked to our best friends better than ourselves often. And just say like Regina, like you are literally creating an experience that hasn't happened yet. You are. And then I started to mantra and I prayed and I meditated and I journal and I got centered and I was good and it was like 20 minutes of my life to take away what could have been a week of like turmoil. So I hope that answers your question.
I think that gives them a reframe. I also think that shows that you need to have what I like to call like pillars to kind of like bring you back to reality a little bit if cause we can totally spin out.
Totally. Yeah. Especially when we're afraid or we're having something come up in our life like it's always going to happen. Like you're never going to be so evolved as a human being that you're not going to feel stress, anxiety, fear, anger, depression, like low vibrational emotions. But it's then what we do with it and we don't stuff it down. We don't pretend it's not happening. We don't self-medicate. Like we look at it in the eye and ask where it's coming from and then we actively process. We allow ourselves to feel it. We don't allow ourselves to live in it. We process it and we move on.
Yeah, I love that. I love that you, I think you're a great example because you're so right. Like going back to the, one of the first things you said, you're a polarizing person, but so it was everybody and I love that. I've always felt that way too. I haven't been fully competent in it, but like how can I be this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing and you can, you can be all of it. I think it's just allowing yourself to explore it more deeply. Every single piece of you.
Totally. And that's my, like that is my brand and like that is my business. Like I say, it's all the things with virgin alarm friends because I am a true believer that you can be driven and smart and successful and sexy and spiritual and inappropriate and funny and laugh at Dick Jokes and drink tequila or not drink tequila and like you can do all those things and like be that whole beautiful person that you are and, but we live in a time where like we want to put people in boxes and like on social media, like you have a theme in a brand and you fit into a box. Or like in corporate America, like as a lawyer, we would always say you can't be too much of anything. You can't be too white. You can't be too black. You can't be too feminine. You can't be too masculine. You can't be too religious. Like you can't be too gay. You have to just be like a white wall. And it's like that in a lot of the world. And so for me, like my response to that is no, you can actually be all the things. Like you can be a girl who super spiritual, but like that doesn't mean you're in like yoga pants, like sitting on a mat. Like you can be a crazy Italian girl from south Philly. You know what I mean? Like you can be all of those things like you're not trapped and, and so I just want women to feel empowered to explore that because that's it's who you really are so why don't you live that?
Oh my goodness. I could just talk to you forever. This is the worst part of these like coffee talks as I could go on for 10 hours but we're busy people we can't do that. We gotta get back to, but I couldn't really seriously talk to you forever.
I know. Me too.
I just love it. I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Can you tell us where they can find you? Follow you. I feel like that last part just probably made everybody want to follow you because you really embrace fulfillment. You really do.
Yeah, I definitely do. Thank you. I'm so on Instagram. I am at Regina a Lawrence and it's L. A. W. R. E. N. C. E. My website is Reginalawrence.com or if it's easier to remember, I'm mindsetcoachforwomen.com
oh, I love that you have two. That's awesome. So yeah, that's really cool. And we'll put all those links in the show notes too, so if you guys were like, you can just check out the show notes and then they will be there too. Thank you some much for joining, I love you.
You're so welcome. Love you too. Thanks for having me.
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